I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wat bout pragnant strippers??
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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