Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
