I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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