I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The air taste purple.
Randomize