After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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