Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
