I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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