my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
