Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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