"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
