Your tits are I can't wait for
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
