when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
