I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
