I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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