Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
