so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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