I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
