and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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