It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize