Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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