Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
