we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
