how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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