when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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