peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
barbara walters just said penis...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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