so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
