I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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