And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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