I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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