Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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