i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize