i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
