Christians are straight up FREAKS
it hurts more in the daytime
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
