Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
