i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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