Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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