Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.

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  (517): My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance. http://tfl.nu/kmco
  Replies (18) Good night (762) Bad night (4587)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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  (330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w
  Replies (16) Good night (3954) Bad night (1173)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session

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  (401): So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session http://tfl.nu/9nzb
  Replies (111) Good night (1223) Bad night (6770)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."

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  (703): She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet." http://tfl.nu/u6hh
  Replies (28) Good night (1325) Bad night (4107)
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  (831): View more from California

  Don't EVER smell your tampon

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  (831): Don't EVER smell your tampon http://tfl.nu/zvwb
  Replies (89) Good night (1339) Bad night (19465)
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  (530): View more from California

  We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.

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  (530): We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes. http://tfl.nu/38if
  Replies (11) Good night (4365) Bad night (728)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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  (914): Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY http://tfl.nu/p14o
  Replies (11) Good night (3584) Bad night (1389)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!

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  (209): Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country! http://tfl.nu/zlp4
  Replies (8) Good night (2263) Bad night (494)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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  (+61): I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today http://tfl.nu/nnzy
  Replies (3) Good night (1887) Bad night (686)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.

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  (301): Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/5jwu
  Replies (10) Good night (3376) Bad night (588)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1503) Bad night (414)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (666)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?

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  (612): Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove? http://tfl.nu/82jr
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (215)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

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  (256): Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention. http://tfl.nu/44p2
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (213)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"

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  (412): We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird" http://tfl.nu/4bz0
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (223)

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