Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz
  Replies (21) Good night (671) Bad night (2403)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed http://tfl.nu/2d65
  Replies (25) Good night (3932) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (796) Bad night (3884)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You love me.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You love me. (785): That's because, tragically, I adore whores. http://tfl.nu/7eph
  Replies (29) Good night (8116) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?! http://tfl.nu/ikec
  Replies (9) Good night (2913) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement. http://tfl.nu/tf3a
  Replies (6) Good night (2532) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night. http://tfl.nu/i20t
  Replies (2) Good night (1915) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up. http://tfl.nu/yb0n
  Replies (9) Good night (805) Bad night (2078)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success! http://tfl.nu/u8oi
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink http://tfl.nu/6677
  Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You texted me a picture of your face along with #help

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You texted me a picture of your face along with #help http://tfl.nu/jxdb
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success http://tfl.nu/5jtv
  Replies (0) Good night (663) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one. http://tfl.nu/nwfi
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house. http://tfl.nu/n9mx
  Replies (7) Good night (1534) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy. http://tfl.nu/rtlu
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (292)

Randomize