Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain

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  (925): You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain http://tfl.nu/anwf
  Replies (16) Good night (2599) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

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  (352): He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies. http://tfl.nu/ks6d
  Replies (8) Good night (561) Bad night (3001)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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  (631): I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick http://tfl.nu/3foz
  Replies (25) Good night (612) Bad night (3973) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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  (931): I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds http://tfl.nu/gekw
  Replies (20) Good night (1080) Bad night (3486) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.

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  (516): Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer. http://tfl.nu/tp9x
  Replies (5) Good night (2221) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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  (570): He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/9z6q
  Replies (18) Good night (4142) Bad night (846)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

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  (204): I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks. http://tfl.nu/ehmv
  Replies (6) Good night (2037) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Did you bedazzle the elevator?

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  (845): Did you bedazzle the elevator? http://tfl.nu/4rct
  Replies (2) Good night (3236) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS

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  (516): Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS http://tfl.nu/0ql8
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to

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  (502): They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut. (808): oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to http://tfl.nu/7uxf
  Replies (7) Good night (3057) Bad night (591)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

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  (307): Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids. http://tfl.nu/60tn
  Replies (15) Good night (3045) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.

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  (515): It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them. http://tfl.nu/9jno
  Replies (6) Good night (1105) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out

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  (580): Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out http://tfl.nu/fusv
  Replies (13) Good night (758) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?

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  (208): Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going? http://tfl.nu/zcy2
  Replies (0) Good night (268) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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  (518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (130) Order T-Shirt

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