Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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  (909): yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face http://tfl.nu/l391
  Replies (13) Good night (5079) Bad night (726)
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  (+02): View more from

  Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies

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  (+02): Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies http://tfl.nu/80zn
  Replies (15) Good night (2721) Bad night (517)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?

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  (330): I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam! (1-330): is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar? http://tfl.nu/c4pf
  Replies (5) Good night (3923) Bad night (1251)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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  (913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft
  Replies (9) Good night (4336) Bad night (832)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me

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  (334): I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me http://tfl.nu/oobt
  Replies (5) Good night (2108) Bad night (802)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name

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  (910): I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name http://tfl.nu/jjfc
  Replies (3) Good night (2345) Bad night (784)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.

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  (517): Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call. http://tfl.nu/hx3q
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (2973)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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  (225): I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up. http://tfl.nu/8v67
  Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (1053)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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  (240): okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party. http://tfl.nu/08ru
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (567)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.

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  (208): Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me. http://tfl.nu/44ip
  Replies (8) Good night (1413) Bad night (517)
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  (619): View more from California

  According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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  (619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (391)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous

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  (801): You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous http://tfl.nu/k8ug
  Replies (1) Good night (756) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards

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  (563): Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards http://tfl.nu/qcuz
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.

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  (773): there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him. http://tfl.nu/ujhc
  Replies (4) Good night (1239) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine

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  (937): I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine http://tfl.nu/8o8e
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (189)

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