oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize