So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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