We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination