Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?