y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...