Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.