am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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