normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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