4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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