How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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