he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
how drunk are you?
Several
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
