I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
