I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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