After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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