kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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