You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
