i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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