I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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