Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
