So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
