I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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