it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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