that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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