I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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