we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
