If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
